A Hopeless Poem

“I just cannot have enough of you”
What do you do when he says that?
You repeat it over and over in your head.
And you smile in ecstasy.
You’re wanted. You’re loved. You’re indespensable.
You let the happiness consume every particle of you.
Till there’s nothing of “you” left in you.
All there is, is him.
But there’s nothing of “you” left in you.
And he couldn’t have enough of you.
So now, he can’t stand what’s left of you.
You repeat it over and over in your head.
You let it sink.
Add a few tears to mix it all up.
And let it assimilate deep within your soul.
Till your very being reeks of self-loathing and rejection.
You were loved. You’re unwanted.
You’re so fucking replaceable.
And so you start looking for traces of yourself
That you buried somewhere with all the fond memories you created with him.
You pick them up, one by one. Relive each one.
Smile, weep, tear apart and angrily flush each one out of your system.
But the turd wont go away so easy.
So you learn to live with the smell
As you look for traces of yourself,
And see nothing change around you.
And just like that,
Days turn into months.
And turd into turds.