I sit by a pond gazing at the perfectly still water.
I see myself in the reflection; but not alone.
There’s someone else; conspicuous yet hazy.
I look happy. Happier than I have ever been.
Or ever hope to be.
There’s certain luminosity in those eyes,
The reflection of which, almost blinds my sight.
The image is everything I am not.
And everything I want to be.
(For it has the only thing that I have not)
It has him.
I touch the surface of the water.
Ripples take the spectacle away.
And then bring back to life,
What I fondly call, my other life.
I turn around. Just in case he’s here as well.
Just in case.
But he’s not.
A barrier separates the two lives.
Firm and brittle at the same time.
I can stay and never know
What it would be like
To live the happiness of all time.
Or I could take a leap
And merge with my desires.
Only to look back in time
And for once, watch myself,
Not crying over what could have been mine.